Repentance & Forgiveness in Family Life

I know this to be true, I have members of my family have been through a lot with other members of our family and they have forgiven one another and I can sense the peace and the spirit that each family member brings, this does not mean that it will not be hard, I know that there will be very hard trials that each family member will face while forgiving one another, but if we do we set ourselves up for even more blessings. 

WHY SHOULD WE REPENT AND FORGIVE?

"Mental health experts acknowledge that it is impossible to address emotional and physical well-being without considering the relevance of repentance and forgiveness. Likewise, the words of ancient and modern prophets affirm that repentance and forgiveness are central to the gospel plan." As I was looking for something that related to repentance and forgiveness I remembered a conference talk that was given by President Boyd K. Packer. "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" This is very true, we need to repent so that we are more likely to forgive others, make sure to watch this amazing video. 

President Packer Forgiveness

HOW TO FORGIVE?

1) Recall the hurt-We not need to deny the pain, we need to be clear of what we did wrong.

2) Empathize- It is important to understand the transgressors feelings 

3) Offer the altruistic gift of forgiveness- the victim needs to be humble by their wrongdoings

4) Commit Publicly to Forgive- we need to verbalize our forgiveness to another person

5) Hold on to Forgiveness- We need to remember to move forward, and we also need to repeat 

For some months, I’ve tried to emphasize repentance, one of the most vital and merciful doctrines of the kingdom. It is too... )—how can we do so, except each of us employs repentance as the regular means of personal progression? Personal repentance is part of taking up the cross daily.-Neal A. Maxwell

 Elder Maxwell's Talk

  

Marriage in the Later Years

A married woman of 33 years said "It's important to build a good relationship with your spouse so that when the children leave, you have the underlying joy of focusing on each other and not your adult children."

I know that talking to many couples that have had older children leave the house, they have said that it is hard to know what to do after a while, because you are use to waiting on your children hand and foot. They also say that it is hard to get use to having nothing to do except relax and pamper yourself, until the grandkids come! ;)

Retirement: "People need to prepare emotionally for retirement", advises one who has experienced this stage of life. "People planning to retire need to retire to something." not just from something, because "adjusting to less money and being home all the time is a real change."
I know that this can be a real challenge to us, my grandma when she retired served a mission in Siberia Russia, and then was busy watching her grandkids, so she had no time to sit and be bored. I feel that that is the way that it should be, we need to keep ourselves busy. 

Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude

I really love this, because I feel that my parents did a very good job at this. We knew what we were supposed to do and we knew what happened if we did not or we did something that was bad I am so thankful for that. I know that sometimes parents give their children so many rules that they cannot wait to go to college so they can do what they want. At college I knew what my parents expected and I did not want to disappoint them. This is how I feel that it should be. I was never sneaky behind my parents back, because the couple times that I did try I broke down and told my parents. I hope that someday I can be the type of parents that mine are!

Nelson says, "The family proclamation makes clear that Heavenly Father expects parents to have significant influence in the lives of their children. God's plan for His children may be ideally characterized as the placement of children into homes where parents are committed to their development and proclamation principles are practiced. No other arrangement is as effective, as demonstrated by the First Presidency's call to parents ... 'to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility...'"

In this chapter, Nelson talks about parenting styles vs practices and it's great to be able to see the difference.This chapter really helps me, because even though I do not have kids I can learn the things that i need to do to become a good mother. I will do the best that I can to be a mother that is pleasing unto our Heavenly Father. I want to have traits like our Savior to be the best mother that I possibly can be. 

This made me SMILE!!!

The Warm, Happy Marriage: Cold Hard Facts to Consider

A study was done that explored the United States versus other countries with data collected on 18,000 adults in 17 nations. The results offer strong evidence to date in support of the relationship between marital status and happiness. In 16 of the 17 countries, the married people were happier than their single counterparts. They also found that cohabitation, instead of marriage, was associated with less chances of happiness, health, and financial security. All of these studies showed clear evidence that marriage is essential to true happiness and joy. (Successful Marriages & Family)

Movies, more often than not, portray sterile married couples desperate to break free of constraints; Internet confessions boast of the marital liberation; and influential writers like Elizabeth Gilbert offer destructive praise for the institution in their bestsellers. In Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert's journey begins with the emotional escape from  marriage and husband, while her latest bestseller, Committed spends most of its pages excoriating the institution that throughout history, she claims, has destroyed women's freedom.  

Under, "The Benefits", section of this chapter, it is quoted . . . "'Marriage is sexless, boring, and oppressive,' declares the headline of a blogger who goes on to declare that marriage is failing people as an institution (marcotte, 2009, p.i)."

As for being unfulfilled and stifled, married people are generally happier, the studies find, with greater life satisfaction, lower risk for depression, and greater economic stability, all contributing to better mental health. (Scott 2009; Stack & Eshleman, 1998; Wood Goesling & Avellar, 2007) 

Now I want you to ask yourself a question, What makes a good marriage?

According to Gottieb's diverse assortment of experts they said that it is distinguishing "needs" from "wants." I know that if there is something that I just want it usually a lot more worldly and is less important. 

Married couples, even those with lower incomes, report greater financial security and, as a result, have greater access to better housing, food, and services like health care than the never-married, divorced, or widowed. (Stack & Eshleman 1998)

 

"A lasting marriage is the reward, usually of hard work and self sacrifice. We recognize that it is something of great worth, but we are increasingly less willing to put in the hard work and personal sacrifice to get there" (Flanagan) 

"Neverless, most couples today choose to 'test-drive' their relationship by living together before choosing to marry. Young men and women usually move in together without understanding the realities of premarital cohabitation. Couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and lower levels of marital quality. They report more negative communication in their marriages and have lower levels of marital satisfaction than married couples who did not live together." (Jose, O'Leary& Moyer 2010)