Nurturing Our Marriages

 "Marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other human relationship. Yet some married couples fall short of their full potential. They let their romance become rusty, take each other for granted, allow other interests or clouds of neglect to obscure the vision of what their marriage really could be. Marriages would be happier if nurtured more carefully." This quote by President Nelson sums up how we should look at marriage and what we can do to protect our marriages. 

My husband and I have been married for about 2 and a half years and I know that we have fallen short in times, and there are many things that both of us can improve on. I know that as we continue building our marriage by attending church and regular temple attendance we will have a strong marriage. 

I have talked to my parents and grandparents about things that they do to nurture their marriages and this is what they told me. My parents told me that they make sure that they have time for one another, even when things in their lives get crazy and busy. My parents both have their plates full, so making time for their marriage is a must. I remember growing up my parents were so busy with everything that they had going on in their lives and with us kids that they really didn't go on many dates. Talking to my mom though she talks about how my dad will have to run errands in the day and he always calls her to see if she can come with him and they stop for lunch. Even in their crazy schedules they made sure that they make time for one another. 

My grandparents talk about now as they have gotten older their favorite thing to do together is to feed the cows and do the ranch chores together. I loved this because I feel that when you are working together you really are growing so much together. I know that as I work with my husband I can see our marriage become stronger. I know that as we make time for our spouses and nurture our marriages we will be blessed and our marriage will grow. 

President Nelson says that he suggests three things, to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate. Here is how he suggests that you accomplish these three things, "To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.

Suggestion number two—to communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.

My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “a space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes. If couples contemplate often—with each other in the temple—sacred covenants will be better remembered and kept. Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate (or be in tune) with each other and with the Lord. Contemplation will nurture both a marriage and God’s kingdom. The Master said, “Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Deny Christ NOT

Matt 16:24-25. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.  25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

We know that our loving Savior sacrificed his own life so that we are able to have eternal life. I will forever be eternally grateful for that and the blessings that I receive from him sacrifice.  In a talk given by  Elder D. Todd Christofferson he said, "In giving His life, Christ saved not only His own life but our lives as well. He made it possible for us to exchange what would otherwise have been an ultimately futile mortal life for eternal life."  Elder Christofferson continues, "I wish we had more of the conversation between Jesus and His disciples. It would have been helpful to have some additional light about what it means, in practice, to lose one’s life for His sake and thereby find it. But as I pondered it, I realized that the Savior’s comments just before and after His declaration provide valuable guidance. Let’s consider three of these contextual comments." Elder Christofferson gives us 5 ways that we can lose ourselves and grow closer to Christ.

1. Take Up Your Cross Daily-   “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).
2. Confess Christ before Others- A second accompanying statement suggests that finding our life by losing it for the Savior’s sake and the gospel’s sake entails a willingness to make our discipleship open and public.
3. The Cost of Discipleship- It is not a question of love. We can and must love one another as Jesus loves us. As He said, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).
4. Forsake the World- The third element of losing our lives for the Lord’s sake is found in His words: “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26).
5. Lose Your Life in His Service-  the greatest illustration of saving one’s life by losing it is this: “O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done” (Matthew 26:42). In giving His life, Christ saved not only His own life but our lives as well. He made it possible for us to exchange what would otherwise have been an ultimately futile mortal life for eternal life.

Humble Yourself as a Little Child

Matt 18: 3-4 -  3. And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

 4. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

I know that as I humble myself even as a little child I will be eternally blessed. When we are humble we are able to listen to the spirit and follow its promptings. There have been times where I have not been humble and I know that I have missed out on having spiritual experiences because of my pride. As I did the reading this week I have been more aware of being humble. 

Caroline H. Benzley said, "There is nothing wrong with feeling pleased with the results of our hard work. But it is also important to recognize God’s hand in the things we are able to accomplish." 

 “There is no place for arrogance in our lives,” President Hinckley stated. “There is no place for conceit. There is no place for egotism.”

Caroline H. Benzley said, "Arrogance, conceit, and egotism will stifle our ability to receive personal revelation, and may also damage our relationships with others."

I have a testimony of being humble and when we are not humble we will be humbled. I know this, so I will always do my very best to stay humble.